Already into the second post of this blog and it sounds more and more like a “mommy blog”. Oh well. I warned you that for the most part this was just a rambling of the bits and pieces in my mind.
I had a momentary freak out last night. I let all the things I “have to do” overwhelm me and spent the better part of an hour crying like a fool. Thankfully Eric was there to pick up the pieces and put me together again. Sometimes I think that man needs a medal just for living with me! When will I get it through my thick skull that life goes on even if there are dirty dishes in the sink or I have to wade through a pile of toys, books, and dress-up just to get to the bathroom? What really matters is that we are all (relatively) healthy, have a roof over our heads (even if it does have termites…yuck), and there is food in the kitchen (most importantly, wine).
This is where I’m hoping that “not being mediocre” comes into play. If I am really living the way God wants me to, I won’t worry about all the things that drive me to insanity. Yes, there will still be messy houses and financial strains. But there won’t be the constant worry that gnaws at my heart. I have always known that God is in control, but I have a hard time remembering that when I’m in my so-called crises. I crave a relationship with Him so close that I instinctively call to Him before I start to feel overwhelmed, and not from the dark pit of gloom, despair, and agony on me.
Well now…doesn’t that just brighten your day?
On a happier note, over the past few weeks there has been an outpouring of activities for both Abby and me. Bible studies, aerobics classes, birthday parties, and playdates (grownup ones too!). It seems like every time I go out, someone is handing me a scrap of paper with their name, number, and kid’s name on it. This could not have come at a better time. I was feeling isolated, surrounded by friends and family but totally alone. All these newfound outlets are forcing me out of my shell to interact with others. Being a hermit is not good. Especially when being a hermit requires that you be the sole source of entertainment for a very social three-year-old. She is super excited about the Valentine’s party with her buddy, A. And I haven’t even told her yet about the two days at the end of the month when she gets to play all day with her best boy buddy, O, and his brother M. Oh! And the super cute dress-up birthday party on Saturday for her friend, L. I think I might be more excited about that one than she is! Oy. Could I be more of a soccer mom? Where’s my minivan?
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